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Caring for a parent or loved one who is becoming less steady can be worrying. This guide covers what to watch for, how to raise the subject, how to help safely without hurting yourself — and where Ontario caregivers can find support.

Written by Abhiraj Radhakrishnan, PT, MPT · 8-minute read

 

Changes to watch for

Many older adults don’t mention near-falls or new difficulties — often because they don’t want to worry family. Watch for:

• New bruises, or holding on to furniture and walls to get around
• Walking more slowly, shuffling, or stopping often to rest
• Needing several tries, or their arms, to stand up from a chair or toilet
• Avoiding stairs, outings or activities they used to enjoy
• A recent illness, hospital stay or new medication
• A cluttered or poorly lit home, or a walker that is left in the corner

If you notice these changes, it’s a good time for a check-up with their family doctor or a physiotherapist.

Starting the conversation

• Pick a calm moment — not right after a fall or an argument.
• Start with what matters to them: staying in their home, getting to church, playing with grandchildren.
• Ask, don’t tell: “How are you finding the stairs these days?” works better than “You need a walker.”
• Share specific observations kindly: “I noticed you held the counter a lot today.”
• Offer choices, and let them decide where possible — independence matters.
• Involve a professional. Advice from a doctor or therapist is often easier to accept than advice from family.

Helping with transfers safely

Helping someone stand up, sit down, or get in and out of bed or a car is one of the most common ways caregivers hurt their backs. These principles help keep you both safe:

• Let them do as much as they can. Your role is to guide and steady, not to lift. Doing it themselves keeps them stronger.
• Set up first: wheelchair brakes on, chair or walker close by, non-slip shoes on, path clear.
• Get them ready: ask them to shuffle forward to the edge of the seat, feet flat and slightly back, and lean forward — “nose over toes.”
• Count together (“1, 2, 3, stand”) so you move at the same time.
• Protect your back: stand close, feet apart, bend your knees, keep your back straight, and don’t twist — turn with your feet.
• Never pull on their arms or lift under their armpits, and don’t let them hold on around your neck.

If they start to fall during a transfer, don’t try to hold them up — that is how both people get hurt. Keep your back straight, stay close, and guide them gently down to the floor or back to the seat.

If your parent needs a lot of help, ask a physiotherapist or occupational therapist to show you the safest way for your situation. Equipment such as a transfer belt or bed rail can help — but only with proper training.

If your parent falls

1. Stay calm and check for injury — especially to the head, neck, back or hip.
2. Call 911 if they may have hurt their head, neck, back or hip, are in severe pain, seem confused, or can’t get up.
3. Don’t try to lift them yourself. Keep them warm with a blanket and stay with them until help arrives.
4. Only if they are not hurt and feel able, guide them to get up themselves, step by step, using a sturdy chair — as described in our fall prevention guide.
5. Tell their doctor about any fall, even if they seem fine. For advice any time, call Health811.

Looking after yourself

Caring for someone is demanding. Looking after your own health isn’t selfish — it’s what lets you keep caring. In Ontario:

 

 

 

Helpful guides

Sources
What to do if you or someone else falls — NHS
Respite care — Government of Ontario
Ontario Caregiver Organization — Ontario Caregiver Helpline
Canada Caregiver Credit — Canada Revenue Agency

This guide is general information, not a personal assessment or training. For hands-on help with transfers, ask a physiotherapist or occupational therapist to show you safe techniques.